Checkout assistants, whether they know it or not (psst, we know they know), have a reputation for being one of the most judgmental people on earth when you slip that box of condoms on the counter.
No, but seriously guys, there are things that are way more awkward than buying condoms.
1. Laxatives
It’s such a private issue to not be able to do number 2, but by buying laxatives, everyone would know that you can’t poop and it’s not like they can help anyway.
2. Viagra Pills
Avoid eye contact at all costs because now everyone knows you can’t get it up (double whammy when it’s a female checkout assistant).
3. Large quantities of alcohol (especially in 7-11)
The checkout assistant might think you’re a serial alcoholic but would you deign to explain to him/her that you’re actually throwing a party over at your house?
4. Wart Treatment
Let’s just say that someone will be ceremoniously scrubbing their hands immediately after serving you.
5. Butt Plugs and Dildos
Yes, you would probably purchase these at designated stores selling sex toys but it still doesn’t erase the awkwardness of lining up to pay for them.
6. Anal Lube (or any kind of lube)
Okay, we’re all grown ups here and purchasing a regular lubricant is not really embarrassing in this day and age. Anal lubes on the other hand, are a totally different story.
7. Morning after pill
Nothing says “we were too embarrassed to buy condoms in the first place” quite like this Plan B prescription. If the checkout assistant was a parent, you might even get a mini lecture.
8. Head Lice Shampoo
Set it on the counter and watch everyone around you take a big step back. Of course, you can’t help having head lice but others around you would automatically think you’re unhygienic.
9. Lotion and Tissues and NOTHING ELSE!!
If you’re a dude purchasing lotions and tissues, you’d probably get a raised eyebrow from those in line behind you because they know exactly what you’re up to.
10. Deodorant for the opposite sex
You can pretend your girlfriend just ran out of deodorant but dudes purchasing female deodorants would get stares either way. Hey, there’s nothing wrong with preferring to wear a more delicate female scent.
BONUS
11. Paying for anything with a load of coins
Holding up the queue for anything is totally not okay, so when you’re the person paying for something expensive with a bunch of coins, you’ll have to be ready for some glares!
At the end of the day, there is nothing to be embarrassed about when buying condoms in Malaysia. In a relationship, one or both parties would have to take the initiative to make sure that at least one person is responsible enough to purchase it. One brand you could consider is Durex’s latest innovation called the Durex INVISIBLE.
It’s the thinnest condom ever developed by the company’s crazy love scientists and it’s designed to maximise sensitivity where it’s needed the most because when you get extra close, it’s the details that matter 😉
